This is totally off topic but I just HAD to blog about it. It was not at all funny yesterday but today, it's blog worthy. Tell me you haven't had an experience like this and I will call you a liar.
Yesterday, I got a custom order for my shop so I decided to take all three kids to the fabric store. I had a specific print and fabric that I needed so I knew it wouldn't take long. We get in to the store and I put the baby into the cart. My son, L, wants to sit in the basket so I put him in there. My daughter, G, wants to help push the cart. I get the print I need and take a number to get it cut. We are next in line! All is going well and I mentally pat myself on the back.
Customer in front of me takes a long time to get her fabrics cut. Foiled! The twins get restless. There just happens to be a big pile of foam rolls near the cutting table. G & L think it's funny to put their arms in a roll and fight each other like they're holding swords, running up and down the aisle while screaming and laughing hysterically. I ask them 4 times to put the rolls back. After finally listening, they do. Silence lasts about 2 seconds. They get bored. They decide that pulling on their baby sister's clothes and screaming, I mean singing, Happy Birthday is way more fun than waiting patiently.
I finally get my two pieces of fabric cut and make a dash for the check out line. This particular store has a big aisle to corral the customers into a line for the cashiers. I never paid much attention to it when I was there by myself. With 3 kids in tow, all I see is a gauntlet of impulse items. On the left, any kind of expensively priced candy you can think of. On the right, $1 bins of useless, brightly colored crap. We are #4 in line. D'oh!
Both of the twins are running up and down the aisle touching anything they can get their hands on and begging to take it home. Can we get this? Oooo, look at this!! I want to wear this! Can we buy this? Look how fun, Mommy!! Can we get a special treat?
People are starting to stare. Ugh. Is it our turn yet? Oh wait, the cash register is acting up when it's our turn next. She has to switch to another machine. Of course that's the way it has to be...
Alright. It's our turn to check out. FINALLY!!! Just next to the cash register is a cute display of gift cards right at 3.5 year old eye level. They both start grabbing hand fulls of cards, half of which fall all over the floor. I simultaneously try to grab cards out of their hands to put back into the display while getting out my phone to pull up the app with coupon codes. You can't scan the coupons on my phone? Okay, I'll read the 16 digit coupon codes to you while trying to get my now frenzied twins to behave like human beings. It takes a long time. The twins realize that just below the gift card display is a clear donation bin, a la Ronald McDonald House, with two slots just the perfect size for gift cards. They both begin shoving gift cards through the slots while giggling. I finally get them to stop and I start reading the second 16 digit coupon code. They get restless and start pulling on the baby's clothes, "gently" stroking her hair, and shoving their hands in her face. She's obviously upset by such "loving" attention and starts to whine for the protection of being in my arms.
We're done! Thank god!! I avoid looking the cashier in the eyes while mumbling "My kids put a bunch of gift cards in your donation bin. I'm sorry!" Making a dash for the exit, I return the cart and we make it outside. Just outside the door is another bin of cheap, useless crap. This time it's flimsy bird houses. I can't get G & L to come out to the car with me. They won't even turn around at their names because they're too busy fingering all the bird houses. I finally grab them both by the hand with one of my own, baby in the other, and march angrily to the van. Once in the car seats, strapped in with nowhere to go, I give them a good talking to about how disappointed I am with their behavior. Then I tell them it's quiet time with no talking until we get home.
*sigh* If that isn't enough to turn someone off from having three kids, I don't know what is. I was THAT mom in the store that couldn't control her kids. At least I have the fortitude to laugh about it today.
Have a great holiday weekend!!